Posts Tagged ‘bad news’
Great news for Bill Gates
|Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes [...]
Dem’ smart city folk
|A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says.”Where can I buy one?” he is asked.Well, I [...]
The bad and the worse news
|A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.Man: And the bad news?Doctor: [...]
I’ve got good and bad
|I’ve got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.Patient: That’s terrible! In [...]
I have bad and very bad news
|Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you [...]
I have good news and bad news
|Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus.Patient: What happened?Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?Patient: Give me the bad news first.Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of [...]
Bad news and awful news
One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side,it had snowed during the night and everything wascovered in snow. He looks down and sees somethingwritten in urine on the lawn it reads”I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”.Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “Ihope you get impeached” in urine on my lawn. [...]
The doctor said to the housewife…
The doctor said to the housewife,”I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news.The good news is you don’t have PMS.The bad news is - you’re a bitch!”
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital…
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped inand saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital ashe is OK.Doctor: We have good [...]
The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him…
The doctor looked at the woman who had come to him for an examination. “Mrs. Brown, I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad to hear that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown, not Mrs.” “Oh. Well, in that case Miss Brown,” said the doctor without changing expression, “I have some bad [...]