Posts Tagged ‘ball’
Lost in a balloon
|Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the [...]
Tell me what I am
|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given [...]
Results of damage testing
|It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crack from the carcass impact, it’ll survive [...]
Advice from lawyers
|George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny’s mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clouds look like cuddly little bunny rabbits. Upon realizing that they were lost, George declared, “Lenny — we are going to have to lose some [...]
Lawyer’s personal injury
|A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.”I’m an attorney,” the wincing man said, “and this is going to cost you $5000.””I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” the concerned golfer replied. “But I did yell [...]
What and who am I?
|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given [...]
Lawyers give irrelevant information
|Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.One of the flyers yells to the figure [...]
Would you please do me a favor?
|A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the [...]
Blond medical terminology
|Artery — Study of paintingsBacteria — Back door of cafeteriaBarium — What doctors do when treatment failsBowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section — District in RomeCat scan — Searching for kittyCauterize — Made eye contact with herColic — Sheep dogComa — A punctuation markCongenital — FriendlyD&C — Where Washington isDiarrhea — Journal of daily eventsDilate [...]
Did you hear about the blond?
|Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.–Mentally Deficient?Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?Did [...]