Posts Tagged ‘boyfriend’
A list of redneck computer terms
|Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.Bar code - Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern.Bug - The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick.Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.Cache - Needed when you go to da store.Chip - Yer cusin’s uncle’s [...]
Husband 1.0
|Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in [...]
Fallen bridge
|A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn’t get back.He yelled in response, “Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light [...]
Bad luck finding a place to hide
|A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight.” The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink [...]
If she went out with me
|A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend [...]
A dog’s chalkboard assignments
|This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks1. [xxx] is not food.Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from the aquarium; cat litter box contents; [...]
THREE GAY GUYS WERE ALL IN A CAR CRASH AND DIED…
THREE GAY GUYS WERE ALL IN A CAR CRASH AND DIED. ALL THREE GUYS WERE CREMATED.THERE BOYFRIENDS WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO WITH THE ASHES.THE FIRST BOYFRIEND SAID I AM GOING TO SKY DIVE AND SPREAD HIS ASHES IN THE SKY BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE LIKED. THE SECOND GUY SAID I [...]
Letter from Daughter to Parents
Letter from Daughter to Parents Dear Mother and Dad:It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remissin writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not havingwritten before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you [...]
Commercial
Commercial:Do Seagulls Circle your house?Does your boyfriend sing ” The shrimp boats are coming”?Do you make people vomit in the elevator?Try FDS!Feminnine hygene spray! two squirts will ‘twinkle your twat’
The Perfect Day - Him and Her
The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping [...]