Posts Tagged ‘elephant’
Alice is in UNIX land
|”Can you help me? asked Alice.”No,” said Negative. “I’m looking for a white consultant.” Alice pointed in the direction she had been walking. “Did he go this way?” she asked. “No,” said Negative. She pointed the other way. “Yes,” said Positive. Soon Alice came upon a large brown table. The Consultant was there, as was [...]
Ten Signs That You’re At A Bad Zoo
|1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for [...]
Two angry neighbors
|Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year [...]
A game of animal football
|The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. “I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T.V.”He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field [...]
So the elephant says to the naked man…
So the elephant says to the naked man . . .”You breathe through that little thing?”
A girl and an elephant
Girl woke up in the morning after a party and found an Elephant in bedbeside her.She said “I must have been tight last night”The Elephant said “You were the first time but second time was’nt so bad”Sent by lcg
What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?
Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?A: Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.
What’s the brown stuff between the elephants toes?
Q. What’s the brown stuff between the elephants toes ?A. Slow natives.
What do elephants use for tampoons?
Q. What do elephants use for tampoons ?A. Sheep.
How to Hunt Elephants — VP Style
How to Hunt Elephants — VP StyleWhen the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, hisstaff will try to ensure that all elephants are completelyprehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees anonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment thevice president’s keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself toprevent any recurrence.Sent by [...]