Posts Tagged ‘fifteen minutes’
The loss of engines
|Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”.Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours [...]
A very insulting parrot
|This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, “My, do you look lovely this afternoon, madam.”She turns around quickly to see who has [...]
A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked…
A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar oneevening and said to the bartender “Give everyone a drink exceptthat gay guy over there”About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, “Give everyonea drink except that gay guy over there”The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. [...]
A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar…
A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a barone evening and said to the bartender “Give everyone a drinkexcept that gay guy over there”About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, “Give everyonea drink except that gay guy over there”The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. [...]
US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school…
US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school.After fifteen minutes speaking he says: ‘I will now answer anyquestions you have.’ Bobby stands up and says: ‘I have four questions’:1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. [...]
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus…
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. [...]
A college couple is under a tree on campus making out…
A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, “I wish you had a flashlight.” He says, “Why’s that?” She says, “Because you’ve been eating grass for fifteen minutes.”
Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away…
Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having…
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were havingtrouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got madand stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came backcompletely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out ofthe room [...]
How to be a Good Wife
How to be a Good WifeExcerpted from a 1950’s high school home economics textbookHave dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal–on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they [...]