Posts Tagged ‘first man’
Two men were walking through the woods when…
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bearwalked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of runningshoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bearslowly approached them. The second man looked at [...]
Man in a pub, “If you went camping and woke up…
Man in a pub, “If you went camping and woke up in the morning with abloody condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?” Other man, “Bloody hell, no!”First man, “Want to come camping?”
A woman walks into a tattoo parlour…
A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks ‘Do you do custom work?”Why of course!”Good. I’d like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.”No problem,’ says the artist. ‘Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.’After [...]
Christmas flavor
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas tree. [...]
A hot meal
Two starving homeless men are walking down an empty street in a quiet town.they spy a dead horse on the side of the road and run towards it. the firstman begins to eat the horse, but the second man refuses, saying only that hewill wait. after the first man has eaten his fill they continue [...]
The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake…
The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man towhisper, “Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?”Her tone upon [...]
A sad mourner
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?” The [...]
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar…
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first [...]
Three wishes
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig’s ass popping out. The first man says, “I wish that was Demi Moore’s Ass” The second man says, “I wish that was Pamela Anderson’s Ass.” Then the third man says, “I wish [...]
Inventing golf
Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub.One scottsman says, “I’m going to invent a game.” The second man asks, “What do you have to do?” The first man says, “You have to get a ball in a hole.”The second man asks, “So it’s like billiards?”The first man says, “No, its going to be [...]