Posts Tagged ‘Friday’
The bachelor’s diet
|Bachelor’s DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her [...]
You can now eat your own plate
|Taipei, Taiwan (AP) - Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further - eat the plate.Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including cups, [...]
He is extremely drunk
|Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.”Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. [...]
The ten ifs of employment
|1. If it rings, put it on hold.2. If it clunks, call the repairman.3. If it whistles, ignore it.4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.5. If it’s the boss, look busy.6. If it talks, take notes.7. If it’s handwritten, type it.8. if it’s typed, copy it.9. If it’s copied, file it.10. If it’s [...]
The boss tells some jokes
|The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously.”What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?””I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”
Famous Quotes
One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivateher class. She told them that she would read a quote and the firststudent to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest ofthe day off.She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzyinstantly jumped up and said, “Winston Churchill.””Congratulations,” said [...]
The Bachelor Diet
The Bachelor DietMondayBreakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallowsome toothpaste while brushing your teethLunch - Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers”- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime butnow cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, abowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on theway [...]
Course of action
One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the watercooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?””Oh, my God!” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, [...]
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife…
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wifeone Friday evening and read’s: Dear Wife (that’s whathe called her) I am 54 and by the time you receive thisletter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautifuland sexy 18 year old secretary. When he arrived at thehotel there was a letter [...]
There were 2 old-maid sisters, both virgins…
There were 2 old-maid sisters… both virgins. It’s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, “I’m not going to die a virgin… I’m going out and I’m not coming home ’til I’ve been laid!!”Betty says, “Well, make sure you’re home by 10 so I don’t worry about you.” 10 o’clock rolls around and [...]