Posts Tagged ‘Funny’
Solution to the Y2K problem
|The government’s system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all [...]
Real opcodes
|AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle’s Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and [...]
Serving on the jury
|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Gene Robinson, 24, was arrested in Dayton, Tenn., after having sat for part of a session as a member of a grand jury hearing drug cases. He had already voted on 20 indictments [...]
Economic pressures
|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Faced with economic pressures, many commercial offices are cutting back on costs wherever possible, in an attempt to remain profitable.At one particular office, employees are taking management’s belt-tightening orders seriously:”I’m taking home only [...]
Fake two dollar bill
|On my way home from the second job I’ve taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a [...]
What just happened here?
|A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. [...]
Can I play the piano once these are off?
|A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.”Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?””I don’t see why not,” replies the [...]
Letters from charities
|I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got one from an Alzheimer’s group. Funny though, they forgot to put my street name on them!
Blonde Car Accident
|One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the [...]
My girlfriend is out in the car
|A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender [...]