Posts Tagged ‘Funny’
I’ll trust you that you paid
|A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00.”But I paid, don’t you remember?” says the customer. “Okay,” says the bartender, “If you said you paid, you did.” The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that [...]
You looked a lot like my wife
|A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why you [...]
He is a very smart dog
|I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head [...]
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours…
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being out in the car.The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat. The [...]
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe…
Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can’t believe it! He says, “What’s wrong with [...]
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City…
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, [...]
Happens
For all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this oneis for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ’special’ customers we alllove! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for beingsmart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger whoprobably [...]
Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?
Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and the rest of us don’tthink they’re jokes!
Bill of No Rights by Lewis W. Napper
Bill of No Rights [...]
Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
Why did the Avon lady walk funny? Her lipstick.