Posts Tagged ‘keyboard’
Diary of a computer lamer
|July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I’ve heard is the best online service I can get. I can’t connect, I don’t know what is wrong.July 19Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don’t see why. He’s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does [...]
Some possible computer bumper stickers
|1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.9. E Pluribus Modem10. …. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)11. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?13. [...]
Europe English
|The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as [...]
Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password
|9. E-mail flames from some guy named “Fluffy.” 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it… and a strange aroma of tuna. 5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of “CyberDog.” 4. Your [...]
The cat’s chalkboard assignments
|In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks1. [xxx] is not food.Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human’s homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric [...]
Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin…
Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin …….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had [...]
The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants
The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credit, accept the late work and tell them that it will be awarded full credit. However, do [...]
I wrote it!
There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night clubahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner,who was tending bar, said, “I’ve never seen you in her before.”The guy says, “Yes, I’m not from around here. I’m just passing through on myway [...]
Some of the myths about marriage…
TOP15.Some of the myths about marriage… Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband says: “WHAT??” The wife explains that he [...]
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!) Monday —— 8:05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let these [...]