Posts Tagged ‘sex’
The technical geek test
|Are you a tehcnical geek?Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do [...]
You have an Internet addiction when . . .
|You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date.Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable modem…T1…T3. And even [...]
Lease nuclear weapons
|Lease a Nuke!Want power and respect? Want to influence the course of world events? Want to be on CNN every night? Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare and messy bio-chemical weapons? Want to watch the citizens of your favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant and unexpected anhilation? Lease a nuclear device! [...]
A tight travel budget
|All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy GuidelinesDate: June 16, 2000Due to fiscal constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees on travel for official business. The purpose of these policies is to save money, thereby decreasing overhead.TransportationIf commercial transportation must be [...]
Merry Christmas law
|Merry Christmas in Legal TermsPlease accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular [...]
Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:IndubitablyInnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinnamonTHINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:SpecificityBritish ConstitutionPassive-aggressive disorderLoquacious TransubstantiateTHINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:Thanks, but I don’t want to have sexNope, no more booze for meSorry, but you’re not really my typeGood evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight
The sex talk
A drunk goes into a bar sits down and says hey hey bartender can we talk about politics The bartender says ?IF THERE IS ONE THING WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IN HERE IT’S POLITICS?. A little while later hey bartender can we talk about religon. Again the [...]
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to…
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week. “Can I see it?” asked the second gay guy.So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.”Oooh,” squealed his friend, “You look ten years younger!”
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for…
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, “You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you.” Joe replied. “Are you crazy?!!” Larrywent on to say, “I promise you that it won’t hurt and we’ll [...]
Two homosexuals were talking when…
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened tomention that he had gotten circumcised last week.”Can I see it?” asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptlydropped his pants to show off his cock.”Oooh,” squealed his friend, “You look ten years younger!”