Posts Tagged ‘site’
The devil’s offer
|The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in [...]
I want to lose some weight
|A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
Blond medical terminology
|Artery — Study of paintingsBacteria — Back door of cafeteriaBarium — What doctors do when treatment failsBowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section — District in RomeCat scan — Searching for kittyCauterize — Made eye contact with herColic — Sheep dogComa — A punctuation markCongenital — FriendlyD&C — Where Washington isDiarrhea — Journal of daily eventsDilate [...]
How do I get across that river?
|A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.”How [...]
Driving home very drunk
|It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before [...]
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA…
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreignexchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rpsand after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 witha typical “service” smile and “Have a nice day!”The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with anotherwad of Rupees. [...]
A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian….
A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied”I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors to lickers.”
An academic problem
An academic problemIn a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk toward each other exactly half the remaining distance between them. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked, “When will the girls and boys [...]
English is a Crazy Language
English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie IndelicatoLet’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplantnor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffinsweren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats arecandies while sweetbreads, [...]
A group of Americans was touring Ireland…
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful.The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all [...]