Posts Tagged ‘snow’
Computer lingo guide
|Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don’t add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep an eye on the wood stoveMegahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morningFloppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stoveRam [...]
Flying near Athens
|As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: “What’s that stuff on those hills?””Just snow,” replied the stewardess. “That’s what I thought,” said the lady, “but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece.”
Rules for hunting lawyers
|1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It [...]
The cat’s chalkboard assignments
|In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks1. [xxx] is not food.Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human’s homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric [...]
What do a meteorologist in a snowstorm…
What do a meteorologist in a snowstormand a woman’s sex life have in common?They’re both concerned with how manyinches and how long it will last.
If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes
If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below)1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being [...]
It finally happened
A man died and went to Heaven. After reaching the gates to Heaven the man was talking with Saint Peter and he asked, “I know I was good during my life, and I really appreciate being brought to Heaven, but I’m really curious… What does Hell look like?” [...]
Bad news and awful news
One morning Bill Clinton wakes up. He looks out side,it had snowed during the night and everything wascovered in snow. He looks down and sees somethingwritten in urine on the lawn it reads”I hope YoU GeT ImPeAcHeD”.Bill calls the FBI and says “Someone has written “Ihope you get impeached” in urine on my lawn. [...]
MICHAEL KENNEDY
MICHAEL KENNEDY What’s the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy? Not yet, but he’s done one about the tree: “I’m Still Standing” How can you [...]
How is a man like a snow fall?
How is a man like a snow fall? -You never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.