Posts Tagged ‘spin’
Fifty ways to be annoying in computer labs
|1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty [...]
The Apple explosion
|OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increases 50%”We’ll do it better,” Says MicrosoftCUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996The massive pile of smoking rubble near Interstate 280 here in Cupertino was not the result of an earthquake or natural gas explosion, as officials first believed.It now appears that the terrific [...]
Have a Microsoft Christmas
|’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father’s mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute Internet shopping.The stockings were hung next the modem with care In the hope that Santa would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug [...]
Floppy disk care
|By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal [...]
Ice cream flavor galore
|A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira’s ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it [...]
Army fitness report
|British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”….- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.- I would not breed from this Officer.- This Officer is [...]
The bronze statues
|A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says [...]
Blondes change a lightbulb
|Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?Blonde: Yes.Operator: The power in the house in on?Blonde: Of course.Operator: And the switch is on?Blonde: Yes, yes.Operator: And the bulb still won’t [...]
Instrument flying guide for animal lovers
|Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the “Cat and Duck Method” of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a [...]
New scientific theories VI
New scientific theoriesGRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on itsfeet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the butteredside facing down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to theback of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above theground, probably into eternity. [...]