Posts Tagged ‘stage’
Europe English
|The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as [...]
Food quotes and quips
|Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .”Artichokes … are just plain annoying … After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.” — Miss Piggy”The most remarkable thing about [...]
Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin…
Speaking of spelling, here’s a news bulletin …….. The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had [...]
We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage…
We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.When you, the people of the U.S., promise to stop sending usyour old people, we will release your election.
Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special…
Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued,with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General,stressing that it should be of international quality.The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearingcomplaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and becomefurious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and [...]
There was a costume party at a mental hospital…
There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down.The second person comes up and says, “I’m a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there’s applause and he steps down.And then [...]
Back in the good ole days in Texas…
Back in the good ole days in Texas, when stage coaches and the like werepopular, there were three people in a stage coach one day: a true red blooded born and raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well endowed Texas lady. The city slicker kept eyeing the [...]
Standardized Guide to the Bases
Standardized Guide to the Bases Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school?If so, do you remember talking about ‘the bases’ with your friends?”Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got tosecond base!”Well that was cool and all, but what the hell [...]
The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage…
The world’s greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundredsof people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end.He’s saying, “You’re all in my power…you’re all in my power..”Fifteen hundred people are going, “Oooo…”He starts to say it again, “You’re all in my…”, when heaccidentally drops the watch.He says, “Shit.”It took them [...]
A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium…
A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students onenight. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speakersystem. “Listen to the sound of my voice…”, he kept repeating, “the soundof my voice… every word is a command… the sound of my voice…” Prettysoon, he had every single [...]