Posts Tagged ‘tongue’
Bill Gates can choose his punishment
|Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every [...]
Hacker syndrome
|There is some compelling force in all Hackers that seems to draw them to their computers every day. Why they get up at 4am to use the modem, and why they continue to rack up a truly incredible phone bill is beyond me.Most computer areas, at your home or at your office, tend to be [...]
Alice is in UNIX land
|”Can you help me? asked Alice.”No,” said Negative. “I’m looking for a white consultant.” Alice pointed in the direction she had been walking. “Did he go this way?” she asked. “No,” said Negative. She pointed the other way. “Yes,” said Positive. Soon Alice came upon a large brown table. The Consultant was there, as was [...]
Tell me what I am
|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given [...]
What and who am I?
|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given [...]
Lesbians can also take Viagra
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swalow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
English is a Crazy Language
English is a Crazy Language From: Charlie IndelicatoLet’s face it — English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplantnor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffinsweren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats arecandies while sweetbreads, [...]
How to write a paper
How to write a paper1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.4. [...]
The scene is a dark jungle in Africa…
The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through thebrush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks theass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says,”Hey! Cut it out, alright!”The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue.After about another five minutes, [...]
WILE E. COYOTE vs THE ACME COMPANY, INC.
WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v.s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, [...]