Posts Tagged ‘trick’
Magician and Parrot
Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the [...]
A really bad, terrible mistake
Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into orwhat your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.” [...]
A local United Way office realized that…
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give [...]
Guilty
Guilty Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is guilty and that it looks like he’ll probably be [...]
Newt coming out
One gay man says to the other, did you hear Newt Gingrich is coming out?”Really?” the second gay man says, “that’s amazing!”The first gay man says, “yeah we’re lucky, he’s only comingout of Congress, would you wanna sleep with him?”Sent by Patrick
The Math Test
The Math Test California officials have determined that students would probably do better with math word problems, if they could relate them to real life examples. Towards that end, may I present: [...]
The new hooker had just finished her first trick…
The new hooker had just finished her first trick. Whenshe came back down to the street, the seasoned veteransall gathered around to hear the details. She said,”Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine.” “Well? What did he want to do?” they all asked. She said, “I told him that a straight lay was [...]
There were two people having sex in a car…
There were two people having sex in a car. They finished upand the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend gotmad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the carand went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked [...]
A man comes to a doctor and…
A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering,finally manages to say, “Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem.Can you help me?””Oh, that’s not a problem for us men anymore!” announces a proudphysician, “They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, thatdoes the trick! You take some pills, and your [...]
Card games
A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When askedwhy had she left her previous employment, she replied, “Yes,sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculousplace I ever worked. Last night they played a game calledBridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about tobring in the refreshments, [...]