Posts Tagged ‘Web’
There was life before the computer
|An application was for employmentA program was a TV showA cursor used profanityA keyboard was a piano!Memory was something that you lost with ageA CD was a bank account!And if you had a broken disk,It would hurt when you found out!Compress was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a fileAnd if [...]
I’m ignoring Y2K
|Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He’d become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions.Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had [...]
You have an Internet addiction when . . .
|You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.A VRML virtual walk through a park is your idea of a good date.Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8…ISDN…cable modem…T1…T3. And even [...]
why the television is better than the World Wide Web
|10. It doesn’t take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last time you tuned in to “Melrose Place” and got a “Error 404″ message? 8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV–even on MTV. 7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening. [...]
The Apple explosion
|OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increases 50%”We’ll do it better,” Says MicrosoftCUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996The massive pile of smoking rubble near Interstate 280 here in Cupertino was not the result of an earthquake or natural gas explosion, as officials first believed.It now appears that the terrific [...]
Diary of a computer lamer
|July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I’ve heard is the best online service I can get. I can’t connect, I don’t know what is wrong.July 19Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don’t see why. He’s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does [...]
Military Christmas
|’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so denseThat nothing that flew could slip [...]
MY TWO DELICATE OPERATIONS
Humor story by Larry GravesWebsite: http://www.gravetimes.com/ [...]
CHOCOLATE
CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God’s way of reminding men how inadequate they are. I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant. When it gets to dessert, my wife usually orders the most chocolate-saturated [...]
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST
THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!) Monday —— 8:05am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let these [...]